What makes someone a true warrior? According to my google search it’s this. “A true warrior is more than just a physically strong person; they are someone who demonstrates courage, integrity, and purpose in facing challenges, both physical and mental.”
I know you don’t know my whole story right now but that word has seemed fitting to me for as long as I can remember. Being mentally and emotionally abused for so long, I completely lost myself. I felt like nothing and no one for the longest time. Music was always a huge release for me. Sitting in the car blasting the radio was my go-to move when I couldn’t or didn’t know how else to express my feelings. I would put on certain songs and just scream at the top of my lungs sometimes and afterwards I would feel a little better. (I still do this sometimes, I just don’t need to as often)
After I had my daughter and I started contemplating my relationship and whether or not I should leave it, there was one song I came back to a lot. The song is called Warrior by Demi Lovato. I would listen to this song on repeat. I felt like it gave me some kind of strength in those moments. It would make me feel like “I’ve got this, I can get through this, I am strong and brave enough”. I don’t think I truly believed any of that at the time but maybe for just a moment while listening to the song.
When I finally did get the courage to leave my ex, my life didn’t just automatically get better. I went from being a stay-at-home-mom to a single mom and working full time. I went from living in my own apartment to living in my dads house. And I was still dealing with an abusive ex who still tried to control me and my life. Always wanted to know where I was and what I was doing and who I was with but barely focused on his daughter and didn’t pay child support. My stress and anxiety levels were so bad that I legitimately lost about 35lbs because of it. Not only did I weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight, I went down to the same size I was in 8th grade. I felt disgusting if I’m being honest. I wanted to lose some of my baby weight but not that much. And through all that I continued going back to that song. And eventually I started to believe that I was, in fact, a warrior. That word wound up having so much meaning for me that one day I decided to get it tattooed on my arm. I put it on the inside of my forearm so I could easily see it. When I’m having an exceptionally hard day I can just look down at my arm and see “warrior”. It’s a reminder that I have gotten through all the hard days I have ever had. It’s a reminder of all that I’ve done to improve my life and my daughters life.
I know people go through way worse things than I ever went through but it was still really hard. There’s so much more that went on and so much more details to my story that I haven’t even gotten close to yet. But to this day, thinking back on all I went through and endured and overcame, I know I am a warrior.
Thank you for putting this song into my life Demi 💕
If you need a little reminder of who you are, I’ve linked the song.
Warrior Mama 
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